Infidelity is the act of breaking a promise to remain faithful to a romantic partner. Such promises can be a part of marriage vows, a privately uttered agreement between lovers, or an unspoken assumption. Infidelity or cheating in relationships is quite common in the United States among all age groups. Surveys show that 22% of married men have committed cheating at least once in their life, and 14 percent of married women have had affairs at least once during their married lives. With proper guidelines and steps, it is possible to save marriages and make them even stronger even after infidelity was discovered. Below we share the infidelity books that you can take help from to navigate the tumultuous situations after discovery.
Top 26 Infidelity Books to Save Your Marriage
Below we have compiled our list of the top 26 infidelity books that guide you step by step through discovery, confession, healing, recovery, and renewing the relationship after infidelity. Both the cheating partner and the one who got cheated on can benefit immensely from these books.
1. Not “Just Friends”: Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity By Shirley P. Glass
The author, Shirley P. Glass is a world-renowned expert in the field of infidelity. In this book, she provides a step-by-step guide to identifying marital infidelity and recovering from it. Oftentimes nominal “friendships” turn into improper love relationships that can damage your marriage. Once you are suspicious of your partner, the techniques used in this book can help you reveal emotional or sexual betrayal, prevent cheating, and heal from infidelity.
2. The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity By Esther Perel
In this book, couples’ therapist and best-selling author Esther Perel provides a deeper understanding of love, desire, and infidelity. It explains why even happy people cheat and the unbearable pain of infidelity. With the right approach, marriage can be saved even after infidelity, and trust and intimacy can be redeemed. Following the approach in this book, you can make your marriage even stronger than before. You can also follow Esther’s private couple’s sessions at her office.
3. Healing from Infidelity: The Divorce Busting® Guide to Rebuilding Your Marriage After an Affair By Michele Weiner-Davis
Once an affair is discovered, this book helps couples rebuild trust and save their marriage through forgiveness. It provides a step-by-step program to help couples navigate troubling situations such as overcoming emotional trauma, avoiding unnecessary arguments, overcoming flashbacks and painful memories, rebuilding trust and accountability, etc. It has numerous stories of couples who went through betrayal and eventually thrived in their relationship.
4. Infidelity Recovery Workbook for Couples: Tools and Exercises to Rebuild Your Relationship By Dr. Monique Thompson DHA LPC
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With the evidence-based advice and strategies in this book, couples can survive infidelity. This book has tools that can facilitate the healing process. Quizzes, writing prompts, and guided questions can help express feelings and work through relationship issues. Effective communication skills allow couples to honor each other perspectives and build trust and intimacy. Once they commit to honesty and go through the emotional work, their relationship can last for a long.
5. Cheating in a Nutshell: What Infidelity Does to The Victim By Wayne Mitchell
If you are just cheated on your relationship, you must be in a nightmare, completely devastated and heartbroken. Cheating in a Nutshell helps you gain a deeper understanding of your pain. Once you understand the structure of your awful experience, you can easily liberate yourself from the situation. You will change your way of thinking once you go through this book.
6. Transcending Post-infidelity Stress Disorder (PISD): The Six Stages of Healing By Dennis C. Ortman
In this book, psychologist Dennis Ortman relates the psychological consequences of infidelity to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).symptomps such as anxiety, irritability, rage, emotional numbing, and flashbacks. He uses PTSD treatment model to help you work through negative emotions, understand both sides, and make important life decisions. He also provides spiritual wisdom and tools for recovery such as guided meditations and journaling and similar case studies of infidelity. If you follow the six stages of healing described in this book, you will be able to rediscover yourself again.
7. Living and Loving after Betrayal: How to Heal from Emotional Abuse, Deceit, Infidelity, and Chronic Resentment By Steven Stosny PhD
If you have just gone through betrayal in relationship, it can be very hard to move past the traumatic feelings. You may find it difficult to trust anyone, find the strength to forgive or build new, loving relationships. Steven Stosny, a therapist and relationship expert, describes how to use the power of compassion (CompassionPower Program) to heal from trauma, chronic resentment, and depression that result from betrayal.
Besides betrayal and infidelity, this book also talks about emotional manipulation, dishonesty, deceit, and financial cheating. It restores your ability to trust again so that you can build meaningful relationships in the future.
8. Unfaithful: Hope and Healing After Infidelity By Gary Shriver
This is the true story of Gary and Mona Shriver who had infidelity in their marriage and healed from it. The story itself is a source of inspiration for those who are going through the same situation. The updated version of the book also contains many such stories and describes adultery and the destruction of emotional affairs. Readers can gain hope and biblical wisdom from this book that can save their broken marriages.
9. Recovering From The Affair: Your Guide To Saving Your Marriage After Emotional Or Physical Infidelity By Dr. Lee H. Baucom PhD
Marriages can be saved from emotional or physical infidelity by addressing the roots of the problem, solving issues, rebuilding trust, and learning how to move forward. With perfect tools and understanding, marriage can be healed and made stronger than ever before. In this book, Dr. Lee Baucom provides the tools to confront an affair, understand the reasons behind the affair, and move forward with the healing process. Additionally, you will get a bonus question and answer section which covers all the common questions related to this issue.
10. Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity By Mark Chamberlain
Pornography addiction of one partner can damage a marriage. Their spouses might take it as a kind of infidelity. In such cases, it takes work from both sides to save the marriage. This book helps couples identify vulnerabilities in their relationship, provides healing advice for spouses, and helps struggling partners avoid relapse.
11. Sperm Wars: Infidelity, Sexual Conflict, and Other Bedroom Battles By Robin Baker
This is actually a provocative book that tries to answer all the questions related to human sexual behavior in light of evolutionary biology or sperm competition. It explains how evolution made women the recipient of the best genetic input from potential sexual partners. The sperms of men compete with each other to fertilize the same egg. Through sperm competition, this book sheds light on all the sexual activities such as infidelity, homosexuality, female orgasm, etc.
12. Untrue: Why Nearly Everything We Believe About Women, Lust, and Infidelity Is Wrong and How the New Science Can Set Us Free By Wednesday Martin PhD
The author, Wednesday Martin, is a feminist and cultural critic. In this book, she argues about female sexual autonomy, and why we should change the way we think about women and sex. It talks about the evolutionary legacy and social realities that cause female infidelity. The book also combines explanations from social science, and interviews with sex researchers, anthropologists, and real women to conclude that women are evolved to be unfaithful. It will force you to reconsider your thoughts about women.
13. How to Forgive and Recover From Infidelity: Proven Tips to Help Rebuild Your Relationship After Heartbreaking Cheating and Deception By J. W. Louise
It is still possible to rebuild a marriage relationship even if your partner cheated on you. It takes lots of patience, determination, and the right mindset to heal from infidelity. This book shares all the tips to forgive and revive the relationship after cheating. It helps you understand the psychology of the cheating partner, work on relationship problems, reclaim trust, rebuild and make the relationship stronger than before. By the end of the book, you will be able to love your partner once again.
14. How Can I Ever Trust You Again?: Infidelity: From Discovery to Recovery in Seven Steps By Andrew G. Marshal
It can be hard for you to trust your partner once again after discovering his/her affair. As you are going through pain and anger, restoring the love might seem impossible. However, millions of couples have succeeded in overcoming the situation and coming out with a stronger relationship than ever before. This book discusses the seven stages couples go through from discovery to recovery, the eight types of infidelity, and understanding your partner’s affair to decide whether to stay or leave. It also provides hundreds of case studies and lots of advice to help save your marriage.
15. Cheat: A Man’s Guide to Infidelity By Bill Burr
If you are a philanderer, this book would be your best companion. It features ten real stories from which you can get practical advice and inspiration. This wicked guide will help men commit romantic infidelity in a smart and confident way without getting caught.
16. Surviving Infidelity: Making Decisions, Recovering from the Pain, 3rd Edition By LMFT Rona B Subotnik
The traumatic feelings such as betrayal, rage, sadness, and jealousy that you are going through after discovering your spouse’s betrayal are unmanageable. It might feel like you have experienced nothing as such before. In this book, marriage and family therapist Rona B. Subotnik and clinical psychologist Gloria G. Harris, Ph.D. provide wise advice and compassionate, nonjudgmental analysis to help you overcome traumatic situations. It also helps you understand different kinds of affairs so that you can assess your particular situation. You will find hope and empathy to survive infidelity and heal your relationship.
17. Blindsided by His Betrayal: Surviving the Shock of Your Husband’s Infidelity: Surviving Infidelity, Advice from a Marriage Therapist, Book 1 By Caroline Madden PhD
This book is written by infidelity expert and marriage therapist, Dr. Caroline Madden, and is especially for women. Once you discover that your husband cheated on you, you might be scared and crazy and going through explosive emotions such as anger, obsessiveness, etc. You need to understand that though your feelings are erratic and unpredictable, are completely normal regarding your circumstances. This book advises on Post-traumatic Affair Syndrome (PTAS), the actions you should take, and those you should not take to help you get back on track.
18. Side Chickology: Why Men & Women Cheat: Understanding, Avoiding, & Recovering from Infidelity By Pastor Keith Battle
Cheating in relationships is quite common in our societies nowadays. Keith Battle in this book explains why most people break trust and commit infidelity. But the good news is even infidelity can be the catalyst for a stronger relationship. Keith shares his personal experience and also guides us in understanding the reason for cheating, the impact of children in relationships, and recovering and rebuilding trust and love once again.
19. How God Used “the Other Woman”: Saving Your Marriage After Infidelity By Tina Konkin
This story is about the author Tina Konkin and her husband. Her husband was having an affair with her best friend. It shows how Tina survived infidelity and restored their marriage. Their love for each other turned even better after cheating. Tina held herself accountable for her part in the infidelity. Their marriage counseling program got better success through this experience. The book will provide you with proven tools to heal and recover your relationship.
20. Fool Me Once: Should I Take Back My Cheating Husband? By Caroline Madden PhD
If your husband has cheated on you, you might be going through one of the most painful experiences in life. You are mostly confused- do not know whether to stay in the relationship or not. You love your husband, have kids, and never thought of divorce, but now you are considering this. Your husband might be sincere in recovering and rebuilding the relationship. You do not want your kids to be split apart with two guardians.
In this book, marriage and family therapist Dr. Caroline Madden shows you the way to understand whether your husband is truly remorseful or he is going to cheat you again. The book provides you with signs and symptoms that will help you decide whether you save your marriage or step out of it.
21. Healing from Infidelity: How to Recover from the Heartbreak Caused by Your Partner’s Affair, Rebuild Trust, and Save Your Relationship By Alice Gardner
This is a comprehensive relationship book that will help you recover from trauma after infidelity, rebuild trust, and save your marriage. It helps you understand the psychology of cheating, the motivation behind infidelity, and the aftermath of cheating. You will learn different types of infidelity and the role of technology, the reason people cheat, and the biology of heartbreak. If you follow this book, you will regain your lost confidence and relieve anxiety or insecurity, communicate better, and rebuild trust and intimacy.
22. Chatting or Cheating By Sheri Meyers
This book is a step-by-step guide to discovering infidelity, confrontation, confession, and healing. It helps you understand the common infidelity warning signs, gather evidence, confess the truth, and revitalize love and intimacy in the relationship. Emotional Sex or physical infidelity does not necessarily mean break-up or divorce. Chatting or Cheating guides you through every step to save your relationship and make it even better than before.
23. After a Good Man Cheats: How to Rebuild Trust & Intimacy with Your Wife By Caroline Madden PhD
This book is especially for those men who were unfaithful in their marriage, regret their actions, and want to save the marriage. It will help you understand your wife’s actions and emotions once she discovers your affair. You will learn to avoid some common but fatal mistakes that will worsen the situation.
The book also has scripts that you can follow to respond to particular questions or situations. It also has two self-administered quizzes that help you identify what triggered your affair so that you do not make the same mistake again. If you can take the right actions at the right time, it is still possible to save your marriage and revive the old dynamics.
24. The Emotional Affair: How to Recognize Emotional Infidelity and What to Do About It By Ronald Potter-Efron
This is the only book in the market on the topic of one partner’s emotional affair. In this type of affair, there is no physical intimacy involved, however, it can damage the relationship as the cheating partner get his emotional needs met somewhere else. Emotional affair brings secrecy and deception into the relationship and breaks trust. But often it is difficult for one partner to prove this type of affair, as there is no tangible proof. This book helps readers identify whether the cheating partner is having an emotional affair, and offers steps to address the issues and recover trust and intimacy.
25. Emotional Infidelity: How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage and 10 Other Secrets to a Great Relationship By M. Gary Neuman
Everyone deserves a great marriage, but emotional infidelity is a barrier to it. Sharing your problems and flirting with your colleague drains the emotional energy that you should have saved for your marriage. This book shares eleven secrets that can transform your marriage and revitalize your relationship. The author’s ten-week program is guaranteed to challenge you and make you reexamine your thinking. Follow this book to get full satisfaction and happiness from your marriage.
26. Private Lies: Infidelity and the Betrayal of Intimacy By Frank Pittman
Infidelity in marriage is quite common- almost half the people have affairs. In this book, Dr. Pittman identifies four basic patterns of infidelity―accidental encounter, habitual philandering, marital arrangements, and romance. He offers practical suggestions to limit the damages and make a marriage work.
You may also read: Best Books on Domestic Violence
Conclusion
The management of trauma and recovering the relationship after betrayal can be daunting. We have shared our list of the top 26 infidelity books that can help you in every step of your journey. These books help you understand different types of infidelity, and the reasons for cheating, and guide you through the process of healing and recovery. If you follow the methods described in these books, you will not only revive the lost trust and intimacy in your relationship but can make it even stronger than before.